What am I hoping for?

So, in my previous post, I talked about how the idea of hope has been on my mind.

It has been lingering still.

I sought out Emily Dickinson's well known poem, starting with the line "Hope is the thing with feathers." I decided that I profoundly disagreed with what she was saying about hope. She describes hope as this easy thing that sings and asks nothing of anyone. I feel that hope asks a great deal of me. I do not find hope to be a simple, easy thing. The poem made me feel like there was something wrong with me, since my personal experiences with hope are so different than what she presents. So still the questions remained for me.

What does hope ask of me? What is difficult about hope for me?

This song stopped me in my tracks this morning. I've heard it many time, but today it really struck me as I was cleaning up the messes of family life. I got goosebumps.

In the Night | Andrew Peterson, Buddy Greene, Jeff Taylor, Andy Gullahorn from Laity Lodge on Vimeo.

The violence that fights against hope, that he really gets across in this song, deeply resonate with me. I feel like there is a battle being fought over my ability to hope. That sometimes, hope is lost, but that it can surface in the deepest night.

Lately, as I've been making things, I've been asking myself "what is my hope for this object?" I'm hoping that more and more the answer to that question will draw me closer to the Maker that made me into the maker that I am.